Ma che cos’è un crinografo?

E’ una parola misteriosa che viene ormai tramandata di generazione in generazione tra la cerchia dei Sonnino. Non ne se ne conosce bene l’etimologia, se ne ignora il significato. Lo Zingarelli ogni anno certifica neologismi sempre nuovi e di anglosassone derivazione, ma ancora non è riuscito a svelare cosa ci sia dietro questo enigmatico lemma.

Da parte mia, le ricerche sono state del tutto infruttuose, o quasi. Sono venuto a conoscenza del vocabolo alla tenera età di sette anni. Andavo all’Olimpico insieme a Nonno Giacomo (‘Nonno Maco’) ogni domenica e lui entrando in macchina usava esclamare con il tono di chi la sa lunga: “La vita è un crinografo”. A quell’età pensi che siano cose da adulti che non puoi capire. Quando con mia grande delusione scoprì che nessuno dei dizionari che avevo in casa documentava questo vocabolo, presi la ferma decisione di chiedere e fare luce: “Ma cos’è un crinografo?”. Purtroppo la domanda fece sorgere in me ancora più interrogativi. Era una parola utilizzata da Nonno Fernando (il mio bisnonno) che a sua volta l’aveva appresa dal padre. Probabilmente i Sonnino la utilizzano fin dai tempi in cui erano mercanti di tessuti in Ciociaria. Forse allora era riempita di senso, ma adesso non ne ha alcuno.

Nonno Maco si diverte ad utilizzarla solitamente durante grandi cene ed incontri sociali. La frase preferita in cui inserirla è sempre la stessa: “La vita è un crinografo”. I presenti, qualunque sia la loro età, il loro livello d’istruzione e la loro cultura, scuotono la testa in segno di consenso ma nei loro occhi puoi scorgere sbigottimento. E Nonno Maco se la ride sotto i baffi. Nel suo ufficio quando entra in azione lo screensaver puoi vedere scorrere la misteriosa frase ed è divertentissimo vedere lo sguardo di chi la legge in quel momento.

Da quando utilizzavo ancora altavista.com come motore di ricerca ho sempre cercato su Internet la parola “Crinografo” senza alcun risultato. Neanche il potentissimo Google è riuscito a darmi una risposta; è riusicto solo a pormi un’ulteriore domanda: “Forse cercavi cronografo?”. No! Cercavo “Crinografo” e non lo trovavo. Quella parola, indenne al tempo e alle peripezie dei Sonnino, si stava perdendo nel rumore di fondo dell’era telematica. Ho deciso quindi che le mie pagine avrebbero dovuto contenere la parola “Crinografo” e così adesso Google riesce per lo meno a documentare l’uso di questa parola rimandandovi su queste pagine. Lo Zingarelli ancora no.

Come Nonno Maco, anche io mi diverto con gli amici ad esclamare “La vita è un crinografo”. Un mio amico, Ciccio nella fattispecie, è stato convinto per sei mesi che la parola avesse effettivamente un significato e che la frase esprimesse un saggio punto di vista sulla natura umana. Oramai ho l’aria così convincente quando lo dico che alcuni, oltre al solito cenno di assenso, a volte esclamano “eh già”. I più coraggiosi ti chiedono: “Cos’è un crinografo?”. Sono loro le persone più oneste ed umili: di loro ti puoi sempre fidare al contrario di chi cela la propria ignoranza su una parola che non esiste.

(Questo inutile post era per rispondere a Palommellarossa, la prima lettrice che si è presa la briga e il coraggio di chiedere il significato del crinografo. Ma tanto lo so che, nel silenzio delle vostre case, avete provato anche voi a cercare con Google che poi vi ha chiesto se stavate cercando Cronografo).

67 commenti su “Ma che cos’è un crinografo?

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